


Thankful

by Fyrielle



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 10:05:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18618421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fyrielle/pseuds/Fyrielle
Summary: As Estinien is recovering at the infirmary, his mind is busy torturing him: how is he going to thank the Warrior of Light for saving him?





	Thankful

How do you thank someone who saved your very life?  
He was nothing and she was everything. She had it all. Power, fame, wealth, friends... And he literally only owned his weapon and set of casual clothes.

He sat here in the infirmary bed, wondering, torturing himself. His mind found no rest. He needed to find a way to show his appreciation. But how? Estinien had never been one to count his blessings, reflect on them, and be thankful. How exactly do you express feelings you've never experienced before? How do you find the words?

She was by his side almost every day. Despite her busy schedule, she always showed up to spend at least a solid hour with him, and make sure he was recovering properly. That only made him feel more pressured to find a way to thank her.

That particular day, she was sitting in an armchair by his bed, all bundled up in a heavy blanket, half asleep after what had seemed to be a very busy day adventuring. She often brought a book to keep herself busy, as Estinien was usually simply resting. But today, he was wide awake and she was the one slowing slipping into slumber. He wasn't sure what force took him over, but he started talking.

"How can I thank you for saving mine life?" he suddenly blurted out.

The Warrior of Light sighed, and Estinien immediately regretted his words. His question was ridiculous. He was a grown man, he should have known what to tell her, what to do! But he didn't.

"I already know you are thankful. What else would I need?" she finally answered.

She sighed once more and wrapped the blanket tighter around herself, her eyes still closed, yet mind still alert. He licked his dry lips. Oh, how tempting it was to just shrug this off, pretend he didn't know what he was saying, and ignore this all! But he really wanted to thank her, one way or another. It was important to him as a first step towards... whatever he would become next, now that anger and revenge did no longer have their grasp on him.

"Is there anything can I give you that you don't already have?"

The Warrior of Light opened one eye. At least it seemed that he had managed to catch her interest. 

"... You can give me something special," she admitted after a while.  
"What do you want from me?"

She silently rose from her seat to take place on the bed, right in front of Estinien. The dragoon wasn't exactly sure how to feel about this sudden proximity. His breath hitched in his throat as the Warrior took his hand and pressed it to her chest.

"Your love, Estinien. I want your love."

He thought it was a joke. Surely she couldn't mean th-... oh.  
Her heart was racing.

"I have spent the past twenty years not loving anything. Your request is out of mine abilities."   
"Do you not like me, Estinien?"  
"I cannot. You deserve better."  
"What if you're exactly what I want?"

Estinien paused. Did she want him? Was this some kind of sick joke?

"Why would you want me?"  
"Does it matter?"

She pulls Estinien's hand to her cheek and nuzzles it gently. The dragoon sighs heavily.

"Do you not want me?" she asks.  
"It's a... difficult question. All mine life I've only wanted revenge. I have no clue as to what I could desire now."  
"Could you desire someone like me?"

He looks at her as if it were the first time. Her eyes, the shape of her lips, the warmth of her smile. Those lips... They're so... Mesmerizing.  
He wants to taste them.

"Estinien..." she sighs against him as he leans in closer.  
"Allow me to try..."

She nods slowly and Estinien closes the distance between their lips. They're softer than he expected, warmer too, and so plush.

"... How was it?" she asks as he pulls back.  
"May I try again?"

She nods once more, closing her eyes to receive a firmer, more confident kiss this time.

"I... I like it."

He kisses her again without waiting for a reply. Her lips move ever so slightly against his, and he tries to replicate the movement. His hand instinctively goes to her face, cupping her cheek as he presses his lips harder against hers. A muffled moan escapes him as he feels the tip of her tongue against him, and he breaks the kiss.

"I'm sorry, was that too much?" she asks.  
"No... I just didn't expect it..."  
"Oh... Estinien... have you never?"  
"No. I mean, yes! I mean..."

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I've had... encounters. But I've never kissed anyone. It just didn't happen."  
"I see."  
"I'm sorry. You sound disappointed."  
"Only in myself."  
"Why?"

She sighs and looks away.

"I feel like I stole your first kiss. Maybe you wanted to do that with someone else."

He pondered her words. For some reason, the idea of kissing someone else didn't sound as good as the idea of kissing her did. If there was one person in this damn world he should share his first kiss with... that would definitely be her.

He had no idea what he was doing, but he kissed her once more and tried to mimic what she did earlier, gently prodding at her lips with the tip of his tongue. Her lips parted slightly.

What now...

"Don't overthink, just explore and do what feels right," she murmured against him before locking her mouth to his once more.

His whole body shivered when her tongue came to meet his, just slightly poking before retreating past her lips once more. He decided to give chase and was rewarded with a soft moan as her tongue embraced his.

Oh... that felt good...

"Would you do that again?" he whispered.

She nodded and switched her position, deciding to straddle him this time. Thankful for that change, Estinien wrapped his arms around her, inviting her closer. He distinctively felt her shiver as their bodies met, a strange feeling swelling in his chest as their forms fit together so well and easily.

She lightly grazed his cheeks with her fingertips and kissed him slow, her lips teasing his for a while before she finally gave him what he wanted so much.

She let out a surprised yelp as he kissed her back with more intensity. Oh... He was a quick learner...

She moaned softly as his hands pressed her lower back, pulling her closer to him. He smirked through the kiss and tentatively bit her lower lip. His confidence was building by the minute.

They both groaned as he pushed her against the mattress and straddled her body. Her back arched as he broke the kiss, only to bury his face against her neck and nibble her fragile skin.

"Estinien..."

He shivered as she pronounced his name in a shaky, weak voice. It sounded so pleasant, so nice... and he wanted to hear it more.

She moaned loudly as he ran his tongue along her throat. His curious hands were getting impatient, roaming on her sides, tugging at her clothing from time to time.

"Estinien, please..."  
"What is it?"  
"You're still recovering, are you sure you can-"  
"Tis nothing," he lied as his hands started tugging at her top.

She sighed. Obviously, he was in pain, the way he would sometimes wince and grit his teeth betrayed him. But she also could tell he was too far gone to stop now. Oh, how she wanted to indulge and enjoy him regardless!

Her train of thought broke as he freed her breasts from her top and ran his tongue on her skin. Her words changed into moans, and sighs, and frustrated groans when he teased her, and he couldn't get enough of her sweet, sweet voice ringing in his ears. He knew she was keeping it low and quiet, they were still at the infirmary after all, and he caught himself wondering how loud she'd be, would they have complete privacy.

They both lost track of time. The only thing that mattered was the other, and the way they were feeling. Kisses and licks and bites and gentle suctions were exchanged as their clothing started piling up on the floor. Eager hands caressed and scratched and tugged and explored as their breathing grew more and more shallow. When finally he was about to enter her, she gazed at him with eyes so loving his heart skipped a beat. She was so beautiful... and he'd never realized it before.

"May I?" he asked with a hint of hesitance in his voice.  
"Please..."

He took her, slow and deep. Her arms locked around his neck and pulled him closer as she pressed her face to his neck, keeping her moans and sighs low. He embraced her in return, his hips rolling against her as she wrapped her legs around him, getting as close to him as she possibly could. 

He'd never felt so intimate, so... close to anyone before. His affairs were usually quick and swiftly forgotten. But he felt this was special. It felt different. The bubble they had created for themselves was touching his cold, affection deprived heart. And the idea that this might be his first and last time with her was making him sick.

"Are you with me?" she whispered in his ear.  
"Yes."

He marked his words with a sharper thrust that left her panting. Her body was deliciously flushed, warm and slick with sweat against his. He wasn't one for physical proximity but... this felt good. This felt right. He decided to pick up his pace, his body wishing for release, while his mind was hoping to see her fall apart and break in his arms. Her breaths were short and ragged now, and her hips rocked to meet his with desperate aggressivity. She wanted it as bad as he did. Who was he to deny her?

He pushed her back against the mattress and grabbed her leg, pushing himself deeper into her. The long moan that escaped her filled him with pride as his lips searched her pulse on the side of her neck. She coiled around him and pulled him close and moaned right into his ear words that didn't even make sense anymore. He felt her shiver and shake in his embrace, and her body squeezed his and drew more moans and groans from his busy lips. His own release quickly followed and left him a panting, boneless mess in her arms. As he struggled to catch his breath while his body started showing him this had been a horrible, terrible and soon to be a very painful idea, she simply stroked his hair in silence. 

"So... what was that?" she whispered after a few minutes.  
"... I'm not sure I know how to answer that."

He tried to extract himself from her embrace, but she only gripped him tighter.

"Please, let me have this..."  
"Sure... let me just..."

He managed to prop the both of them up so he could lean back against the head of the bed. He pushed his aching back against it with a relieved sigh as the Warrior of Light all but wrapped herself around him once more.

"Is this the love you were talking about?" he asked.  
"... not really."

She pulled away and searched his eyes. She'd never looked so fragile, unsure... she was usually so proud and confident, it was a slight shock to see her that way.

"You want more."

She nodded.

"How much more?"

She blushed and awkwardly tried to conceal it.

"Do you want this to happen again?"

A silent nod.

"More than just one time?"

Another nod.

"Look at me."

She locked her eyes to his. Something in her seemed about to break.

"Listen. I don't know where this is going, or what this is but... I think I like it. So I am willing to... how did you put it? 'Not overthink and explore'? Because this felt right... this felt a lot more right than anything that's happened to me in a very long time."  
"You're not... rejecting me?"  
"I can't tell for sure I'll ever be able to give you what you requested..." he paused and blushed. "But I'm willing to try."

All traces of worry and tension disappeared from her face as a radiant, relieved smile appeared, sending an arrow straight to his heart.

"Thank you, Estinien."  
"And I was the one supposed to thank you."  
"Well. You can 'thank' me again later. But for now, you need rest, alright? The nurses will have my head if they find out."  
"Yes, my lady."


End file.
